A Mentor is ...

Mentoring is one subject that confuses me. Once I volunteered for a position with a writing group and was turned down because I had no "record" of mentoring other writers. The reason I have no "record" is because I don't advertise that I've mentored anyone. If I do something nice for someone, I'm not going to go around bragging about it. I feel it's up to the individual to say s/he's been mentored, but also, I haven't charged a fee. Almost all the mentoring I do is in my local area--Louisiana and Texas. 

For the past five years or so, I've taught a six week NF writing class. I've always taught the class in the fall and given students the option of staying in touch with me for help through the end of the year. Several stay in touch with me much longer because we become writer friends. I've never called it mentoring, though some of them have.  All of my students have sold their work with the exception of one or two. :/ I continue to send my students and other writers I know specific markets for their works. I continue to encourage them and offer help and critiques when they ask. I've never considered myself a mentor.

I believe mentoring is very misunderstood. An agent I know started a mentoring program by putting writers together in groups of three (a Paul, Timothy and Barnabas group) but we weren't at all compatible or dedicated to helping each other. I think mentoring has to just happen with people who connect with each other. Maybe it can be a business relationship where one is paying for services but I absolutely HATE that thought. The word mentor--the action of a mentor is too beautiful to be charging a fee. Needless to say, I've never had a mentor; but I have (and have had) very dear friends and critique partners who give me wonderful tips, advice and inside publishing information.

So I'll be the first to admit, I come to the word MENTOR a little fuzzy. Straighten me out. What's your definition of a mentor? Is mentor the same as a writing coach? Have you ever had either one? Did you pay? Would you like to have one or the other? Would you pay? What would the "perfect mentor" be like?

 

 

Looking forward to your comments.

P.S. FYI--I take after my dad who worked hard and never wanted to charge for anything! :)

Wise Words from Elizabeth Berg

I've been searching for Escaping into the Open (the art of writing true) by Elizabeth Berg and finally found it this week. The book interweaves Elizabeth Berg's story of her own writing journey and offers encouraging advice on how to create stories that spring from deep within the heart.

It's wonderful! Let me give you a passage that really speaks to me:

The real problem with talking too much about what you're doing is that you set yourself up for judgment. And if someone sneers at your idea, however subtly they do it, it can cripple you And they don't even have to sneer--someone simply asking too many questions, pushing you too hard to say what something is before you know what it is, can freeze you up.

Amen and Amen!

Of course, many of you out there won't be able to identify with this at all. You can spill your entire story to any stranger on the street before you've written one word and still sit down and write a good novel. I can't. I feel my way along--page by page and chapter by chapter--and I'm never quite sure if I'm on the right path. So you can see that brainstorming with writer friends just doesn't work for me. I've always been somewhat of a loner in my writing. I've been in a million critique groups--compatible with maybe one-third of them.

Believe me, I'd love to have rhino skin. I'd love to be able to take it on the chin when someone sneers in my direction. I'd love to be able to brainstorm and let my stories spew and not be intimidated or shut down when someone with a stronger POV than mine says, "that won't work because of this, this and this and you need to change that to this and this to that and totally remove the ..."

Berg does believe in critique groups, and so do I, but I also agree with Berg when she says:

Just take care in choosing those whom you ask to look at it; and then be careful of what you do with their advice.

I'd really like to learn how to brainstorm with others. I believe if I could master this my stories would be less problematic. I know writers who take off on week long retreats and all they do is toss ideas around, work out their plots, help each other grow them into complete stories. Color me green with envy. Do you think this is something that can be learned? Reckon I could train myself to be that open and trusting?

Do you brainstorm with friends? How often? How many friends? What's your brainstorming procedure? How well does it work for you?

999 Ways to Write A Book

Here I am talking about back story again. I know you're sick of it. I am too, but I'm still alittle confused. I'm reading two books and both of them are so sparse that I'm having a difficult time staying interested. There's an art to dropping tidbits of info into our stories. These two authors aren't dropping anything anywhere and I'm finding it annoying.

I don't require a lot of back story to stay interested in a good book, but geeze-louise, give me enough that the chapters make sense!

It's suddenly dawned on me that these days--this modern world of publishing technology, the ebooks/POD publishers/self-pubbing/short story apps, etc ... anything goes.

ANYTHING!

There must be 999 ways to write a book. With back story or without. With one character or twenty-one. All dialogue or ... all narrative. Or graphics only.

The most important thing we have to do is find an editor that likes our writing. That's the key. That's the answer. Put that on a little yellow sticky note and slap it on your computer. Write your book the way you want to write it then find an editor who loves it. They'll tell you what's wrong and if there's too much back story. Ultimately, the editor is the last word.

Next month I'm going to NaNoWrMo with the rest of the world. My novel is outlined and I plan to sit down and follow that outline. I'll get my usual 100 pages before I experience the Thanksgiving Crash. I'd love to make the 50,000 words goal but it hasn't happened yet. Turkey day always gets in the way. At least I'll have 100 pages of something new.

So, just out of curiosity, are you planning to Nano this year? If so, I'm registered as Jessy. Look me up and let's encourage each other.

BTW, do you know Jane Friedman? She's a columnist for Writer's Digest. Now go HERE and read the dirty secret behind writing advice.