A Critique Gone Bad

I know I rant about critiques way too much, but they fascinate me. There are so many inspirational stories out there and some horror stories too. I’m surprised someone hasn’t pulled together an anthology exploring and exposing critiques.

Here’s a funny/sad story about a critique gone bad:

Once I attended a conference and paid for a critique by one of my favorite category romance authors. I read all of her books. I thought her writing style and voice were similar to mine and that I’d get some valuable instruction from her.  When I sent her my chapter, I mentioned what I felt were our similarities. NOTE: DON’T EVER TELL A PUBLISHED AUTHOR YOU THINK YOUR WRITING IS SIMILAR TO HERS--ESPECIALLY IF SHE’S GOING TO READ SOME OF YOUR WORK. That’s like telling a woman you barely know she looks like Barbra Streisand. Some people think she’s a beauty, some don’t. You have no idea how that woman will take what you may have meant as a compliment.

When I got to the conference and met with the author, she tore me to shreds. Obviously, she didn’t think my writing style was anywhere close to hers. I didn’t receive one compliment from her--not one positive, encouraging word. I paid twenty-five bucks to be insulted! She proceeded to tell me everything I could NOT do in my story. For example, she said I could not have a single man coach his young niece’s soccer team. That is strictly a no-no in our society today, she said.

Uh, say what? Single dads/uncles/men do that every day. Don’t they? Well, they do during soccer season!

In addition to telling me what I could NOT do, periodically, she’d hit me on the head with my very own manuscript, yelling “Weenie sentence, weenie sentence.”  She expressed herself well, painted quite the picture. And I think that was the equivalent of her exclamation point.

I had a lot of respect for this author, bought all her books, and looked forward to each new release. No matter how I try, I haven’t been able to read anything written by her since this critique. The voice I heard (and enjoyed) when I read her work has disappeared and all I hear are ‘weenie sentence, weenie sentence” squeals.

Critiques can wound us, make us or break us, make us feel like a dog, but they can also make or break those giving them. You, and you alone, have the final say about your manuscript--at least until you find an agent or editor. I’ll agree that we need to get rid of weenie sentences (if we can identify them) but don’t allow some weenie critique to steal your joy or contribute one ounce of self-doubt to your psyche. We conjure up enough self-doubt on our own, don’t we?

When it comes to critiques: take what you can use, and toss the rest.

Wise Words from Elizabeth Berg

I've been searching for Escaping into the Open (the art of writing true) by Elizabeth Berg and finally found it this week. The book interweaves Elizabeth Berg's story of her own writing journey and offers encouraging advice on how to create stories that spring from deep within the heart.

It's wonderful! Let me give you a passage that really speaks to me:

The real problem with talking too much about what you're doing is that you set yourself up for judgment. And if someone sneers at your idea, however subtly they do it, it can cripple you And they don't even have to sneer--someone simply asking too many questions, pushing you too hard to say what something is before you know what it is, can freeze you up.

Amen and Amen!

Of course, many of you out there won't be able to identify with this at all. You can spill your entire story to any stranger on the street before you've written one word and still sit down and write a good novel. I can't. I feel my way along--page by page and chapter by chapter--and I'm never quite sure if I'm on the right path. So you can see that brainstorming with writer friends just doesn't work for me. I've always been somewhat of a loner in my writing. I've been in a million critique groups--compatible with maybe one-third of them.

Believe me, I'd love to have rhino skin. I'd love to be able to take it on the chin when someone sneers in my direction. I'd love to be able to brainstorm and let my stories spew and not be intimidated or shut down when someone with a stronger POV than mine says, "that won't work because of this, this and this and you need to change that to this and this to that and totally remove the ..."

Berg does believe in critique groups, and so do I, but I also agree with Berg when she says:

Just take care in choosing those whom you ask to look at it; and then be careful of what you do with their advice.

I'd really like to learn how to brainstorm with others. I believe if I could master this my stories would be less problematic. I know writers who take off on week long retreats and all they do is toss ideas around, work out their plots, help each other grow them into complete stories. Color me green with envy. Do you think this is something that can be learned? Reckon I could train myself to be that open and trusting?

Do you brainstorm with friends? How often? How many friends? What's your brainstorming procedure? How well does it work for you?

Why Aren't You Writing?

In one of my writing communities, some of the writers are making lists of why they aren’t writing. It caused me to look at my own reasons. It’s easy to let other things get in the way. You know, really there’s always a ten minute stretch of time we can use to jot a few words or a couple of paragraphs, or ideas about stories we’re working on. Flash Fiction can be pretty short. Hint Fiction, even shorter. So, realistically, there’s isn’t a good reason not to write a little something.

This week I had good intentions, and in all fairness to me, I did do a little writing. Revised and expanded a short story then sent it for critique. Got some excellent feedback for layering it even more which is what I wanted to do but didn't know how. I’m so bad at description. Probably because I often skip over it when I read; I go straight to the dialogue.

Got my ten pages put together to send to Harold Underdown for critique at our BWG conference. This is a story near and dear to my heart. Trouble is … it has been near and dear to my heart for 40+ years. That’s gotta hurt it. There’s still interest in the subject matter because I’ve Googled and researched it. What I’m worried about is that I can’t capture the right voice. This is a young adult novel and I’ve never had a YA voice. Considering another birthday has passed … well, you see where I’m going with this. I've heard Mr. Underdown is pretty straightforward so I'm sure I'll come away knowing exactly what to do with this piece. I just hope it isn't too painful. :)

I have several personal projects I’m involved in that take time and thought. Also I’m teaching my NF online class, doing some critiquing and contest judging for other writers’ groups, plus keeping up with some of my favorite TV shows. (I'm so 'into' Project Runway' this year. I can only imagine the stress!)

Our BWG conference, upcoming officer elections, putting Gator Bites pamphlets together, arranging and keeping tally of the BWG blog, contest judges and scores, and just preparing for the monthly meeting takes its toll. Yes, we do have competent officers, board members, conference coordinators, but I’m the prez. I figure the buck stops with me. Regardless.

I’m not whining. I’m musing. I’m assessing my writing life and projects. I have way too many things going. I’m about to add a few more.

Hey, you people out there who work full time jobs and write, and accomplish your goals consistently: you have my utmost respect and admiration. I honestly don’t know how you do it. Want to tell us?