Who's Swinging from Your Tree Limbs?

I haven't blogged in a few weeks. I wish I could say I've been tip-toeing through the tulips but I haven't. I've been meandering through graveyards. Online graveyards.

Many years ago, way before we could do searches online, I struggled to learn who was perched in my family tree. I battled relatives who wanted me to mind my own business and others who laughed at me for wanting to know where that large McGinty nose came from, or those squinty, sleepy Roach eyes. Finally, the war of the relatives (and a divorce) had me packing my paperwork away for another time. And then I passed it on to family members who have since died. The paperwork has made its way back to me.

So now it's time to finish the story--especially considering my own age. How hard can it be these days with ancestry.com and findagrave.com. Not as difficult as it was 40 years ago. I've found graves, marriage licenses, mugshots of relatives, and much more. And because my mother's long-term memory is much stronger/clearer than her short term memory, I'm learning some juicy stuff. Talk about addictive!

I've spent hours searching findagrave.com. I located old friends who have passed away and I didn't even know it. When did those friendships disappear from my life? In my mind, I thought about them, remembered fun times with them. Each time they popped into my memory it was as if we'd just been together. One, a writer and teacher, and one of my best friends for a number of years, was instrumental in my own progress as a writer. We went to a lot of conferences together; critiqued each other, read each other's books, but we'd lost touch. She retired, quit writing and turned to other things. When I came across her obit, I sat and cried ... for myself, I guess. Just because I didn't know.

On ancestry.com I located a couple of dead husbands. Yeah, unfortunately, they were mine.

Searching your family tree can sure make you stop and think about relationships, the value you place on family and friends. It can be darned depressing too, when you count up how many younger family members have passed on long before they should have.

If there's someone you need or want to talk with, share a laugh with, or a memory, or even interview--do it now. Don't wait. Time is passing at breakneck speed. Pick up the phone now. Call them. Write that letter. Don't wait.

The Importance of Family

For months, we've been planning to attend a Ferguson Family Reunion in East Texas. We talked the kids into joining us. Yeah... fun for them, huh? Most youngsters don't enjoy sitting around eating unidentifiable casseroles and listening to old people discuss the past. They don't realize they'll be planning their own family reunions before they know it. Oh, how the years fly . . .

We took off on Friday in little Rhonda the Honda. I think I've mentioned that we bought Rhonda for our daughter back in 2001--a graduation present, but a couple of years ago we gave her our CRV, thinking she needed a newer vehicle so I've been driving Rhonda. And she's been great. She has a lot of get up and go which makes me feel energetic. I like being able to wheel into the tiniest of parking spots. Rhonda's nine years old and has around 65,000 miles on her. Yeah, that tells you how much running around daughter did. Good daughter--good Rhonda/Honda.

Well, back to taking off on Friday. We got as far as Iowa (that's Iowa, LA just about 10 miles down the road) and something didn't feel right. I was driving. I'm very in-tune with my vehicles. I can usually tell when something isn't right. I can even feel it when they've been worked on, tuned up... there's just a feeling. Well, long story short as the cliche goes, Rhonda was sick and Rhonda broke.

Press the gas, nothing.

Put her in reverse and press the gas. Nothing.

She just hung there.

We were towed back to Lake Charles by the cutest wrecker driver I've ever seen. He and hubby had great discussion about family values, stuff they learned from their dads, etc. I listened and took notes. This cutie is definitely lodged in my memory as hero material. I've been wondering what kind of heroine would suit him. :)

So... Steve the wrecker driver towed Rhonda to the Honda place where she stayed the weekend. Hubby and I were transported home to get his truck, back to Rhonda to transfer our belongings, then off to get daughter in Lafayette, and pack everything into CRV. Of course, by this time, we'd worked up an appetite so we ate before leaving Lafayette. Who can pass up Coyote Blues and their great tacos? Got to Longview motel at 11:30 pm Friday night, and up early the next morning to head to Mineola, TX.

Daughter and son got to meet cousins they didn't know they had, and visit with cousins they haven't seen in quite awhile. (You can see by the pic that they're all caught up.)

I know this isn't really writing related but it can be because family stories are important. It's easy to gripe about going to family reunions or class reunions--it does take effort. But I think it's important to tell your kids old family stories, even family gossip, stories from your school days and childhood. It's important to give them a sense of belonging to their family name.

The Fergusons have been known as good and godly people. Of course, among all those good people are a few interesting renegades, as in any family. Our kids have heard Ferguson tales for 27 and 30 years. If they listened, paid attention, they'll be able to pass some of these stories on to their own kids. Some of those stories are even written down.

They've heard stories from my side of the family too but the difference is ... there won't be any more family reunions in my family, ever again. My family bit the dust years ago because of words and actions that can't be taken back. Cousins speak with reservation through emails. Aunts and uncles don't speak at all. They're dying off--unforgiving and unforgiven.

Treasure your family--no matter how large or small. Share your history with your children and grandchildren. Write that history.

No matter how far away that family reunion is, no matter the hassle, do it! Go! Putting flowers on a loved one's grave, saying a prayer that our families stay healthy and loving . . . it's all important. Probably one of the most important things we can do is BE with that part of our family that we never get to see.

Are you in touch with your family? Do you see them often? Is there someone in your family you haven't spoken to in years? Think about making contact before it's too late.

NOTE: Hubby and I looked at new vehicles on Monday. I felt guilty. I think I'm a little too attached to Rhonda. She's family.