CIRCUS OF HORRORS

Do you remember the song, Look For A Star? The first stanza is below:

When life doesn't seem worth the living
And you don't really care who you are
When you feel there is no one beside you
Look for a star

If you can’t remember how it sounds, here’s the video:

I can’t think of this song without remembering an old movie I saw back in the 60s at the Arlyne Theater in my home town of Longview, Texas. I loved going to movies when I was a kid; today I don’t go much--I rent from Redbox and watch in the privacy of my own home so I can hide my eyes if I need to or mute if someone is throwing up, or just turn it off and quit watching. Back in the old days, I didn’t have those problems. I didn’t have to worry about four-letter words, graphic violence or barf.

But why in the world I went to see a British horror film called Circus of Horrors, I’ll never know. Circus of Horrors has haunted my memory. No exaggeration there.

In 1947 England, a plastic surgeon must beat a hasty retreat to France when one of his patients has ghastly problems with her surgery. Once there, he operates on a circus owner's daughter, deformed by bombs from the war. Later he becomes the owner of the circus, and ...

I’ve thought of it often and wondered if it was really as intriguing as I remember. So many times, my memory seems like nothing more than jumbled fiction in my head.  

About a year ago, I ordered the DVD. I was determined to find out the truth and perhaps perform a little exorcism of the Circus.  Joined by hubby and daughter, we watched. I don't think they enjoyed it as much as I did. I was surprised at how much I remembered, and of course the song … that beautiful song seemed creepy, sinister.

I'm glad Circus of Horrors was just as fascinating in 2011 as it was in the 60s.  Several Amazon reviewers (about my age, I guess) remarked how the story has haunted them all these years. The suspense is great, there isn’t any graphic violence as compared to today’s thrillers even though, I admit, it’s still a bit gruesome. I think what really bothered me was the lack of transition from scene to scene. You can't blink or you'll find yourself in another country and wonder how you got there.

I won't be forgetting this story any time soon. It just won't let go of me. The concept is too interesting and if you really, really think about it, it's not too far-fetched from things going on in the cosmetic surgery world today. (We can always tell when a star's doc made a boo-boo, can't we?)

One reviewer stated the movie is without a doubt one of the finest British horror films ever made, and while I’m not a real horror buff and can’t agree with any certainty, I can say if you enjoy horror at all, you’ll like Circus of Horrors.  

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack by Chuck Sambuchino

I used to watch David the Gnome with my daughter. David was the perfect Papaw. He headed a precious family of little people who greeted each other by rubbing noses. I have a lot of good memories and many hours invested in David the Gnome cartoons. That’s why I was very curious about How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack by Chuck Sambuchino. How dare this Sambuchino guy malign the reputation of my David! So you see, I agreed to review Garden Gnome Attack for a reason; I had my own agenda.

My first thought was, why would I want to survive a garden gnome attack? If those sweet little people attack, it’s probably to shower me with hugs and kisses. I had planned to defend them with such conviction that not one word of Sambuchino’s book would penetrate my soul--or yours.


But . . . when How To Survive a Garden Gnome Attack arrived and I ripped open the package, the cover alone turned my blood to ice. My heart pounded. I felt sick and had to sit down. There was a David look-alike holding an ax. One caption read ‘benign appearance belies murderous intent.’ I flipped to the first page only to read, “Keep reading if you want to live.”
Yikes!

How To Survive a Garden Gnome Attack sounds like a fun book, but really, you shouldn't read it if you're alone in the house ... or if it's dark outside ... or if you're a pack rat with piles of clutter. Gnomes can hide in clutter. I promise you, you'll be only pages into this interesting read before you're lifting your feet off the floor and searching the room for teeny tiny red caps. I've actually found myself glancing across the yard for 'stonescaping' while on the way to the mailbox. Stonescaping (akin to agriglyphs) is the "art of arranging stones to convey intention, a cunning means of nonverbal communication." I asked my husband if we could cap the chimney; we've ordered several motion-activated lights. The electrician comes next week.

This book might look and sound innocent enough, but ... it's the sweetest little horror story you'll ever read; one that will stay with you for the rest of your life. The photography is wonderful, and adds another layer to the goosebumps. Scroll to the bottom and watch the book trailer. You'll know exactly why I'm no longer a David the Gnome fan.


To read a couple of good interviews with Chuck Sambuchino who has to be one of the most talented, imaginative guys in the country, go HERE and HERE. Now read on to learn more about this book ... and how to save yourself from those creepy little garden gnomes.


ABOUT THE BOOK:

How to Survive a GARDEN GNOME ATTACK
Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (and They Will)

by Chuck Sambuchino

With an irresistible charm, gnomes seem friendly—even welcoming. By the millions, we brought them into our homes and gardens. And, in so doing, we unwittingly courted this threat. Now we must learn to defend ourselves.
Hiding in plain sight and feigning innocence and merriment, garden gnomes are seeking world domination. THINK ABOUT IT. They have infiltrated every state in America and exist on every continent. Deceptively benign, the common garden gnome has quietly lulled citizens everywhere into a false sense of security. They hide behind their wheel-barrows and disarm unwary suburban dwellers with their rosy cheeks so that no one notices the weaponry they wield. Those rakes, shovels, and pick-axes are not harmless decorations. Alert the Garden Gnome Liberation Front: It is not the gnomes who need saving. Be aware and be afraid. Wake up to the danger.
Chuck Sambuchino is a certified GDE (Gnome Defense Expert) with years of experience in direct combat—guerilla lawnfare style. HOW TO SURVIVE A GARDEN GNOME ATTACK outlines a proven four-step strategy—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding family, pets, and possessions against home gnome invasions. The only published handbook of its kind, this indispensable manual features detailed plans for gnomeproofing dwellings inside and out, instructions for hand-to-hand confrontations, correct gnomenclature, guidelines for compiling an effective arsenal, illuminating case studies of human vs. gnome clashes throughout history, plus ten tips that could save your life.
Would you know how to stop a gnome from tunneling under your house? Would you recognize the signs of suspicious activity or an impending infiltration in your neighborhood? If the answer is ‘no’ then you need to buy this book. The danger is real and it is here. Don’t wait until it is too late.

Chuck Sambuchino lives a guarded life in a heavily fortified residence somewhere in Ohio. He is available for interviews, consultations, and commando missions, via his publicist, Kara Van de Water - kara.vandewater@tenspeed.com
510-285-2966

View the book trailer here!

Hardcover $14.99 full-color 112 pages 978-1-58008-463-5
Published by Ten Speed Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, Inc.